Cruise: Part Deux
03/18/04
So the first night was good, but here's where things started going downhill. First off, the boat was old, old, old. Secondly, the power surge on the way into port had burnt out transformers all over the ship, and many rooms were left with no power in the restroom... including Dwayne and mine. For us to shower or pee, we had to either leave the door open, use the light from Dwayne's cell phone, or bring in the little booklight I had to illuminate the room. Additionally, the water in the shower had a standard temperature deviation of about 40 degrees with less than a minute between the extremes in temperature. Keeping in mind that we had essentially MISSED the entire first nights worth of activity, suddenly the $50 credit onto our charge cards seemed a little too flimsy a band-aid. All-in-all, we seemed to be aboard the ship of cheese, and it wasn't that fancy french kind, either.
Check out the staff of our Love Boat.
I should have known something was up when I saw El Capitan.
The Jamaican guy in the lower right was our chef. The fiend.
Yes, this was our entertainment for the weekend.
Aaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!
I managed to work my way into a dominoes game...
pardon me... BONES!
I wish I could say this was the face that Wil made when I beat him...
But I never did...
Dressing up for deener! Waiters never know how to work my camera.
But they do know how to sing! Check out the flashy light trick...
it makes for dramatic opera.
Poor little foreigners... forced to sing and dance like little monkeys.
My sense of self-importance swells.
Time for a show! Starring Uber-Cheese!
But I have to admit that enthusiasm will make up for bad scripting any day.
I actually had a good time, if only for the energy of a few of the dancers.
All dressed up and someplace to go! That's Lauren and Dork.
"Eeeeew! You're sweaty!"
"Fashion over comfort, baby... Fashion over comfort."
Next stop, Cozumel!
Imagine if you will, I'm standing on the deck watching us pull in. The woman next to me is from the Let It Ride table from the night before. I'm amazed, I think out loud, "We aren't driving fast enough to get any spray, where is this water coming from?" She looks at me, "From the SKY! It's RAIN-ING!" Yep... all these good looks, and no brains to match.
I kept flashing back to old Navy synthetic snapback training films.
Look at how blue the water was... my first time down here.
There's the fancy-schmanzy ship next door.
Look at all those balcony cabins!
They're so rich over there, there ship turns into a Decepticon Jetplane.
Good, there's a tug nearby to lug my drunk-ass back to the ship tonight!
Denny and I work our way through the maze of capitalism to find the way out.
Ah, isn't it beautiful... the Mehico that Americans have dreamed up and built?!
Armed for some beachside solitude, I have Adam Ant and Middlesex.
That was right before Audrey III ate us.
I can't believe it's only Saturday!
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