There's one particular category of activities that distance the typical Sci-Fi / Fantasy convention from a true "Fandom" convention.  The nudity and latex are actually a symptom not the sickness.  The true perversion that draws the line is the idea that partying is more important than meeting famous people or winning a gaming tournament.  Yes, getting Boris Vallejo's autograph on this year's Zodiac calender is notable, but if you get him drunk on cheap rum at a hotel party with topless con-chicks you have become legendary.  And if you can get him to hand-tap a tattoo on your back at 4am with inks made from spit and eyeliner pens, you have earned a place in the Hall of Heroes.

As a gamer-geek, this idea was foreign to me.  I went to conventions to challenge the best of the best in games like Dungeons and Dragons, Paranoia and Star Fleet Battles.  I was confused by the "dances" thrown at the local cons.  All that did was pull people away from the gaming tables, and what was the point in that?  Steve Richards and Dawn Marie once tried to pop in the video tape highlights from Magnum Opus Con in Greenville, and I refused to watch.  I had no desire to cross from the world of analytical competition to the world of fat chicks in fishnet.  But that changed....

I blame two cons for making me the boozer I am today: DragonCon and Magnum Opus Con.  Yes, friends and Romans, I just used the name of those two events in a single sentence and am now about to draw a correlation between the two... consider me banned.  I used to enjoy going to DragonCon and competing in their big AD&D team tournament and sometimes found merit in their mammoth Vampire live action game.  In 1996, I finally got frustrated to the point of annoyance with the gross variations in quality of the tabletop gaming and was REALLY hoping the LARP would end up making up for my dissapointment.  Stuck with a pointless character and an unapproachable plotline, I was willing to be distracted when I ran into my old pal, Dawn Marie.  She took me around and introduced me to a lot of the party crew and ended up getting me sloshed.  I had more fun wandering the con that night than I had in a long time of going to these conventions.  DragonCon is the gateway drug of the Con circuit, and the first hit is always free.

The following year, Dawn was talking about going to Magnum Opus Con, and she and I had gotten close enough to where I wasn't quite so terrified of the implications of it.  I agreed to room with Steve <see, I'm dealing with the same drug dealers on this wicked little journey>, and I cruised into Atlanta just in time to experience a truly fantastic Con.  The people there were so warm and accepting of me and my wacky sense of humor that I had made friends within 2 hours of arrival.  Having Dawn as a reference didn't hurt, but she surprised me by actually being proud to hang out with me.  I had made a rather big splash with my Big Boy costume that year and even managed to cheat my way into a costume contest popular victory by bribing the ticket distributors with kisses.  Carri was the coolest and Deidre said that if any of the entries for number 6 were nebulous, that she would intepret them as nines.  PLUS, I got to be included as an NPC in a live action Cthulu game!  No shame for me, I got to game!

With MOC under my belt, there was no going back.  I had made a name for myself with some very interesting and enjoyable people and would never plan a convention around panels or gaming again.  The warmth of the get-togethers, the lack of judgemental bullshit, and the over-the-top party mentality of those I met had overwhelmed me.  I was hooked.  So for all the bitching, moaning, and belly-aching, if there hadn't been a DragonCon for me, there would have never been a MOC.  Call me a cronie, Roland, but there is a generation of fans who would love to support you and what you do.  Don't write them off because their boat to the new world was built by Ed Kramer. </soapbox = off>

Financial difficulties kept me off the con circuit for a year and a half, but I was back at Fantasm 2K and the party battles were about to begin.  "Party Battles," you say?  "What are they?"  Remember how I was talking about competing with the best of the best in the gaming world?  Well, the fandom conventions take their parties to the next level by awarding a prize to the group who throws the best event.  That's right, gentle reader, the convention staff rewards those who will intoxicate, arouse and feed you.  And these parties are no small matter.  At MOC, a group covered their entire room with black plastic and blacklit the place so that it looked like the holodeck from Star Trek.  One group is notorious for assembling "The Machine", a ten foot by six foot metal suspension device with wrist, ankle, and midriff supports.  "Victims" are blindfolded and strapped in while onlookers pay for the opportunity to grope and discipline whoever is inside.  Most parties involve clearing out all the furniture and decorating the place thoroughly, and that doesn't even include the massive amounts of booze and food that get thrown into the mix.  And this year, I'm lucky enough to be a judge!