So suddenly I wake up.  It's 6:30am, and I'm lying on the bed.... fully clothed.  I hop up and go look at myself in the mirror.... bad idea.  What's all this paint doing on my jacket?  Why does my mouth taste like fritos and ass?  Where the hell is my camera?  Wait a minute.... WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAMERA?

"Dawn... Dawn... Wake up.... Do you know where my camera is?"
"What time is it?"
"6:30."
"You lost your camera and cigarettes and blamed me for it."
"Why would I try to blame losing the cigarettes on you?"
"Cuz it had my key in them."
"oh... i'm sorry.... i'm sorry..."
"We couldn't find your camera."

* shit *

"Ok, I'm gonna go look for it."

One of the most terrifying things about Saturday morning was seeing how many people were UP!  And not UP as in "We've had a great time and haven't gone to bed yet", rather they were UP as in "We got plenty of sleep and are happy and chipper to be walking around in such a wonderful place."  Had these people no shame?  Don't they have better things to do... like SLEEP!  Sadly, I was completely and totally awake... I was UP as in "I overdid it so much that the chemicals are still coursing through my body."  It's ok, folks... I'm a professional... I do this every weekend.

Wandering around, I bump into many people I know... none of whom know where the hell my $700 camera is.  Hey, what are you two doing up?  Lily has been up for 32 hours and Cloei is still getting over her frustration at a 12 hour flight delay... I manage to herd them into the common quest of finding my camera, but that goal soon falls by the wayside.  We start having some really great conversations about anything from politics to reality to modem speed.  We cycled from room to room, polluting the environment with our rapid retorts and tangential theories.  It was scary how fast we could flip from one series of thought to another, then revisit an old idea for some new insight.  My bed-head was looking really delightful and I still had penis-paint smeared all over my jacket from the model the night before.  We never found my camera, but we talked for 4 hours about everything under the canopy of our twisted little lives.

Truth be told, this was the highlight of my entire Con.  For a few hours, time stood still... and while we ran into other people, like LoneFeather and Bear, there was no one of any import other the three of us for that slice of life.  But all good things must come to an end, and after a surreal expedition to Publix, the girls decided they were feeling like side show attractions and needed a shower.  I agreed that my aroma was probably no longer my friend, and headed back to the room to clean up.

Picture taken with Lone Feather's camera

Damn the shower for reminding me what it felt like to feel GOOD, because it quickly reminded me that I did not feel like that.  My brain started slowing down and my muscles started tightening up... and next thing you know, I'm in the dealer's room staring at walls and feeling my conscious thought slipping away.  Belle and Bear were trying to get some Cam technology set up, but sadly the hotel didn't have the phone lines hooked up correctly, so the chat room idea was a no-go.  After they took various trips to go get food, drink, and extraneous promotional material, I think I actually logged more time behind Belle's dealer's table than she did.  Dawn got up shortly after me, got cleaned up and lugged her brand new laptop down to the Dealer's room just so she could be as disappointed as Bear.  But before she came down, she stopped by Rashad's party and picked up the cigarettes and my CAMERA!  WOO!  Back in business.... unfortunately, my business at the time was extended periods of zoning out, interrupted by clever and completely random comments from Lily who was also staring at walls.  For a while, LoneFeather and I sat behind the table like camgirls... but no one really came over and talked to us... for some reason, people at cons seem to prefer talking with women...hmmm... curious....

Regardless of how plebeian wrestling like this comes across, it's like seeing a really cool special effect... you just stare, dumbfounded, and think, "How did they DO that?  that HAD to hurt!"  After the wrestling exhibition, I wandered across the hell to join Dawn in the "How to apply makeup for men in Drag" panel, and then finally managed to work my way back upstairs for a small rest and a fresh set of clothing.  Bonnie had gotten me into the photography contest, but I didn't think pictures of hallway costumes was going to cut it... so I took the camera up to the room and managed to arrange Dawn clothes and my clothes that had exploded of us so as to create still life compositions of con-life.  My masterpiece was taken in our bathroom... I noticed when I walked in that there was a particularly characteristic grouping of con-accouterments.... A pot of coffee, some aspirin, tooth paste, Tums, hair gel, etc.... I called it "Still Life with Birth Control Pills"... but then I forgot to give my camera to Bonnie.  Those pictures will have to come later.