A long night of liquor, blatant disregard for conservative social conventions, and lascivious glances around the room, I finally managed to crash into bed. And truth be told, none too soon. After all, I'd had a rough week, and I didn't have the luxury of sleeping till my poor body was ready to get up. See, I'm actually on the Staff at this fine convention, and that means I have obligations. Sadly, one of these obligations is to run the first event in Main Programming on friday and saturday. Noon might seem early to mundanes, but mid-day is prime sleeping time for vampires and rugged wayfarers of the night. Anyhoo, so I'm up at 11. dressed in my suit by 11:45, and dashing to programming to get everything set up. This year, like last, we ran Family Feud and Jeopardy with a decidely twisted twist. On friday we ran mostly geek questions, and on saturday it was all about the nookie. Interesting fact, did you know that 75% of men last less than 3 minutes between penetration and orgasm? I bet THAT makes you feel a lot better about your love life.

I think I should make this into a yearly ritual!
"Stacy? I haven't had the cupping of the crotch, yet!"

Things start to get a little hectic, right about now. See, about then I was reminded that I had volunteered to speak at the Celebrity Roast of John Ling. With a "How to Haunt your Home" panel at 4:30 and the roast starting at 6, I didn't have much time to put together a proper stream of abuse for the Reverend. And since I was fighting for time, my brain was taking it's own little siesta with regard to my humor production. No matter how many times I stared at those little 3x5 cards, I couldn't manage to find anything worth writing down. Needless to say, I didn't take any pictures. Any chance I had, I was tapping pen on paper and a ball-pean hammer on my skull. SO! No pics from the afternoon on Friday...suck it up, friends and felons... I'm a professional, and even the pros need slack.

Here's Pam, armed with my picture-maker... and a stagefull of weirdos ready to roast their liege.

After Fred, I was the next on stage... I actually managed to get some good cracks in, and I wrote them 5 minutes before the show!!

Most of these pictures are boring, but I put a transcript up of my quotes from the event.

Roger did a Dr. Seuss style poem about all the places he found The Rev passed out.

Wes (another one) was SLAYING us! The stream of obscenity this boy could spit was magical.
can you see how red my face is?

The crowd was meager, but the ones who weren't there missed out.
Some of the material was GOLD, I tell you... GOLD!

John recieves his bedpan roast award...

Pam got bored and starting taking pictures of her nose.

John tried his best to retort our barbs, but like me he had consumed too much Freixenet.

Look! My camera is broken!
Stumbling out of the room with a Makers&Coke in one hand, and a bottle of bubbly in the other,
I didn't save a hand for the camera.. and so it bounced like a rubber ball on the pavement.
No more pictures till Saturday... Friday is pictureless.

SO! The rest of these crappy pictures are taken with Jeff's Camera
I accept no responsiblity for them, other than subject matter.
The quality of these pictures is dubious, and next time I'll have a better camera.
Jeff can't help it his camera is ghetto.

Somewhere in here we attended Cap'n Slappy's Nautical Hour Presents William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, and it was a Senate-load of fun. Essentially, the Cap'n Slappy show is a bunch of rude puppets who do funny crap like show sock-puppet videos performing Sir Mix-a-lot songs, and invoke all kinds of kidlike applause from the audience. But in this case, they recruited almost the entire audience to play roles in their own speedy version of the Shakespeare classic. With only a few lines of dialog, the action consisted mostly of poorly costumed players entering and exeunting the stage. The armies of the different sides threatened each other with pool noodles and thrashed about madly while trying to exeunt at the proper times. I got to run a cool wind-and-rain device that I perhaps shook far more often than was expected. Stupid fun, but fun none the less. And a good wind-up for the night.

Puddin' Wrasslin! Kink or White Trash Playground? You make the call!

Deener at the Sundown Cafe. My only meal out, and a good one to boot.

Tasty fire dancers... if you missed them last year, then you should have seen them this year..

I love the way the light reflects off the metalic glitter and oil...

As Dawn would say, "Ahrrrrr num num num"...

"Beware my glowing squiggles, for they are mighty!"